


I love the night sky (but I love you more)

by Ama_moon



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: F/M, Heartbreaking tbh, Sad Jisung, Stargazing, again pure fluff, barefaced bangchan appreciation fic, chan crying, comforting speeches, frustrated felix, healing y/n, it’s all i can do anyway, just loving bangchan, seems sad but it isn’t i promise, tiny bit of sad feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ama_moon/pseuds/Ama_moon
Summary: You wake up in the middle of the night with something bothering you but you can’t put your finger on it. You decide to go check on your boys, expecting to find nothing and peacefully go back to sleep. What you didn’t expect was a night full of insecurities, tears and loads of hugs.
Relationships: bangchan x reader - Relationship
Comments: 7
Kudos: 72





	I love the night sky (but I love you more)

The sky looked beautiful that night. 

That’s what you thought to yourself when you walked out of your apartment around 2am. You had went to bed alone, your boyfriend Chan working late at the studio as always. It was a recurrent situation, falling asleep alone in your big bed.  
Either Chan was working on something or he was staying at the dorms with the boys. Him sleeping at your apartment wasn’t very frequent so you were pretty used to the feeling and didn’t mind it that much even though you missed his warm embrace. 

So, that night, you turned off your television and went to sleep without so much thought. 

What you were not used to however, was waking up in the middle of the night, an uneasy feeling heavy on your chest. You tried going back to sleep, but being an over-thinker, failed miserably. 

You convinced yourself it was nothing, just your anxiety playing tricks on you again, but you couldn’t stop imagining the worse.  
Maybe something bad happened to Lix? What if Hyunjin broke his leg while practicing? Jeongin might have cut his hand while trying to cook something. Your brain was running wild. You knew there was no way you’d be able to fall back asleep without making sure everyone was alright. 

That’s how you found yourself, in the streets of Seoul at 2am, walking to the boys’ dorms. You didn’t live far from it, a 10 minutes walk and you were there. You still made sure to be careful because being a woman in the middle of the night had never been a comfortable situation. You quickened your pace, trying to get to the dorms as quickly as you could. 

Once you reached the building, you opened the door with the keys the boys got you in case of emergency, which came in helpful tonight. You took the stairs to their apartment and opened the front door as quietly as you could, it was 2am after all. The room was completely dark with no lights and no sound. You still got inside to make sure everything was okay. 

After a few seconds of looking around and releasing a relieved sigh, you heard your name. 

“Y/n?”

You turned your head towards the living room when the lights turned on and you saw Jisung sitting on the couch, wrapped up in the blanket you got the boys a few months back. 

“Hi polar bear what are you doing up at this hour?”

You sat next to him and he immediately scooted closer to you, his head on your shoulder. 

“I don’t know I couldn’t sleep... I’ve been so frustrated lately trying to come up with new melodies for the next comeback. I feel so useless y/n you have no idea. Chan hyung and Changbin hyung are always finding new stuff, bringing new ideas. And they’re smart ideas too! Stuff that Stays are gonna love for sure. And they just bring so much to the team and here I am struggling to get something good and worthy out of me.” 

“Jisung-ah... You never told me this before. You’ve been a part of 3racha for so long now I didn’t think you’d have these kind of thoughts.”

“Well that’s what happens when you’re part of a team and become more useless everyday.” He said in a pout, clear sadness in his voice. 

“Okay no that’s not something I ever wanna hear from you ever again Han Jisung are we clear?” You said in a harsh tone. 

You felt him move next to you but you didn’t hear anything from him. You turned to him and took him in your arms.

“I’m being serious Jisung-ah.. I don’t think you realize the impact of your work on Stray Kids. You’re 20 for fuck’s sake and you’re one of the most credited kpop idol ever! Doesn’t that mean something? And whenever you write or compose something, it’s so emotionally deep and touching. You have this way with words, with melodies that could make anyone cry. You made so many songs and, I might be biased, but they’re all bops!”

At that, you felt his body shake and heard a faint chuckle. 

“What I’m saying is: you’re incredible, I’m so impressed by how your mind works and creates all those wonderful stories, getting inspired by random movies or dramas. You really do inspire me and I look up to you a lot. However, as amazing as you are, we’re all human. We all move our own pace and yes sometimes we hit a wall. You’re gonna tell me this never happened to Chan?”

You didn’t hear back from him and took this as an answer.

“See? And you admire him right?”

“He’s my role model.”

You smiled fondly at that, thinking about how Chan would react to that confession.

“This proves that it can happen to anyone. You don’t have superpowers. And you’re always so hard on yourself trying to be perfect well guess what: you can’t. I hope you can reflect on that and give yourself some slack. You deserve it.”

You felt him hug you tighter and you hoped he believed you, at least a tiny bit. You loved that boy with everything in you and seeing him like this quite literally broke your heart. He was like a little brother to you and you always wanted to protect him from the world but mostly from himself. He could be so self-destructive and overtaken by his anxiety and overthinking. You related to him a lot with that; that’s probably why you felt closer to him than the others. You knew how bad it felt and you didn’t want him to feel like that. 

“Jisung-ah”

“Mmmh?” he hummed quietly.

He was now laying right next to you and you were softly caressing his hair.

“I love you, you know that right?”

“Love you too noona” 

That name again, always made your heart melt. You were only a year older than him but the boys still insisted on calling you that. In the end, it felt more natural than anything else. 

You heard him yawn and he said

“What are you doing here any-“ he didn’t get to finish his sentence, drifting away in dreamland. 

You laughed softly, endeared by how fast the younger fell asleep.. He must’ve been so exhausted with everything on his mind.  
You passed your hand through his hair one last time before you got up as quietly as you could. 

Feeling reassured, you took back your phone you had put on the coffee table and were ready to leave when you heard yet another voice.

“Noona?”

That was unmistakably Hyunjin’s sleepy voice. You cursed yourself for waking him up. 

“Hi Hyunjin-ah I’m so sorry for waking you up, I’m leaving go back to sleep.”

You were surprised when he walked toward you and pulled you in a hug. 

“Hyunjin-ah... Are you okay?” you said, voice full of concern.

“No yeah of course I’m fine I just felt like getting a hug from my favorite noona.”

That brought a big smile on your face and you hugged him back as tight as you could. 

“Why are you here at this hour?” 

His English accent made you coo inside, being even less focused and cuter right after waking up.

“I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. I was convinced something had happened so I came by to check on you guys.” 

“Oh well everyone is fine. I didn’t hear Felix come home yet so he must be rehearsing the choreography and well obviously Chan hyung is still at the studio.” 

You nodded, not surprised to hear that both boys were still up and working at this hour. 

“Okay well I’m glad everything’s fine here.. I’ll probably pop by jyp to check on the two stubborn boys.” 

“Yeah I think you should. You’re one of the only person who can actually get them out of there. Especially those two.” 

You smiled at that, satisfied to know you had that kind of power of persuasion. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up Hyunjin-ah... Go back to sleep okay I’ll get the boys to go back home” 

“Alright. Ask Felix to come and cuddle with me when he comes home. M’feeling clingy tonight.” 

“Yeah I noticed.” you laughed, the boy still in your arms. 

He giggled and let go of you, going back to his room after pressing a soft kiss on your cheek, wishing you a good night. 

You left the dorms and made your way to jyp building. It took you less than 5 minutes to get there, the dorms being right next to it.

The guards at the front door let you in, recognizing you after seeing you so many times. It still felt weird to be able to walk into such a building, filled with idols, without being that important yourself. But you loved this place. Music has always been a passion of yours and this building felt like a dream come true. Where you could practice, write, record, create. You were in awe of the possibilities this place created. Obviously, the euphoria faded when you remembered the way this company treated their artists and took advantage of their talent. 

You made your way to the elevator and pressed on the floor 5, where the dance practice room was. 

You were greeted by the loud sound of music coming from the nearest room. You had heard that song multiple times, the boys always humming it unconsciously and showing you their favorite moves. That was your advantage as the leader’s girlfriend: little snippets of their new song and you couldn’t complain. 

You looked through the small window of the door and noticed Felix, all sweaty and out of breath repeating the same move over and over. When you saw him grip his hair a little stronger than he should, you opened the door and came into the room.

He immediately saw you and used the remote next to him to turn off the music. 

“Noona? What are you doing here? It’s like midnight or something you should be home” he said, breathless and with his thick Australian accent. 

“Midnight? Lix it’s half past 2.” you said, pointing to the clock on the wall.

“Shit already? Ugh Hyunjin’s gonna kill me  
I promised him I’d be home to watch that show with him.” 

“Well he did ask me to tell you to cuddle him when you get home.” 

“Of course he did.” 

He looked at you smiling and then frowned.

“Wait you said half past 2? What the hell are you doing at jyp in the middle of the night? Everything alright ?” 

“Yeah no I’m fine I just woke up with a heavy feeling on my chest like something was wrong, I just came here to check in.”

“Well I’m good if that’s what you wanna know. I’m just struggling with this part of the choreography but i’m sure i can get it right before going home.”

“Lix I saw you from outside you were literally about to rip your hair out.”

He put his hands on his hips and looked down, knowing what you were gonna say next.

“If you keep rehearsing tonight, after being exhausted and extremely frustrated, you know as well as I do that you’re not gonna make any improvement.” 

He sighed, brainstorming answers in his head that would convince you otherwise. 

“I’m really trying to come up with something give me a sec” he said, half joking.

“Oh yeah I can see that. Go ahead big guy and tell me that I’m wrong. I’ve known you for a year now and I know you better than you know yourself. You’re just being an stubborn over-achiever right know. Go. To. Sleep.” 

“But I’m so close” he said, throwing his head back. 

“Okay then show me.”

“Huh?”

“Show me that move of yours that you’re so close to mastering.” 

You knew exactly why he couldn’t get that move right and you were waiting for him to show it to you so you could prove him that you were right. He was too stubborn to let it go without a fight and you knew how to get him out of that studio. 

He took the remote and started the song again. It was your first time hearing the studio version of it and you almost got distracted when Felix started dancing. His moves were great, as expected from him, but when the part that bothered him came in, you congratulated yourself for being right about this. 

“Okay I see” 

“The problem is-“ 

“No no Lix don’t tell me. The problem is your arm during that part right? The intensity of it ?” 

“You always had a good eye.”

“So now tell me Lix. Because I know you know why you can’t do it perfectly right now.” 

In lack of response, you decided to get a little sarcastic to get a reaction out of him.

“YES! Exactly! Because you are ex-haus-ted. It’s almost 3am Lix and I know you got this bad habit of staying here late because you think you’re lacking but you’re not. So you’re gonna pack up your bags and get your ass to the dorms to give that poor boy cuddles okay?” 

He exhaled a long sigh once again, probably annoyed that you were right about this and that he had no choice but to go to sleep. 

“Alright alright you win. Now give me a hug” he said, his face displaying a smirk. 

You looked at him, all drenched in sweat and started walking away giggling. 

“Oh no no I don’t think so young man! Get your stinky ass away from me.”

He started running after you which made you laugh hysterically, even more so when you heard him do all sorts of weird noises to scare you away.

You eventually stopped and pushed his sweaty body away from you. 

“Stop stop I’m tired stop. Go home and clean yourself you dirty human. And then-“

“Yes I know I’ll go cuddle Hyunjin”

“I was gonna say and then get some rest but go off I guess” 

You both laughed and then proceeded on cleaning up the studio before heading out. 

“I’m gonna go to the 7th floor to see what Chan is up to.”

“Yeah you should”

“What do you mean ?”

“I don’t know he was a bit weird today, he always tries to hide it with a smile because he doesn’t think we know him well but we do. So go get him out of here.” 

You nodded and flew him a kiss before he turned his back and walked towards the other elevator. 

"Oh and Lix?" 

He turned around and looked at you wondering what you were gonna say. 

"Be quiet when you go home, there’s a squirrel asleep on the couch." 

He giggled at that and nodded, entering the elevator. 

You pressed the button and headed to the 7th floor, where you were so used to going after all these months of dating Bangchan. 

Same as with Felix, you walked towards the door where you’d been so many times before but couldn’t look through the window as there was none. 

You discreetly opened the door not to disturb your boyfriend in the middle of his work. You though you’d find him, headphones on and concentrated look focused on the computer, with the clicking sound of the mouse the only thing filling the otherwise silent room. 

What you didn’t expect was to see him completely slouched on his chair, head laid back with his arms covering his eyes. You got closer to him and sat on the chair next to his. He was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice you and looked at you surprised when you softly called his name. 

Even with no other source of light in the room, the computer screen perfectly allowed you to see his face. The sight made your chest even heavier, the bags under his eyes saying a lot about how much he had been working lately. There was also an expression on his face you couldn’t read, barely there but still noticeable. 

He looked at you and gave you a soft smile despite his obvious pained state, the words Felix said earlier echoing in your brain: “He always tries to hide it with a smile because he doesn’t think we know him well but we do.” 

And he was right, you did know him better than that, but seeing how tired he looked, you didn’t know if he had the strength to talk about that tonight. You thought you’d let it slide and play along for now, for his sake. You knew he’d tell you when he’ll want to. 

“Hello there” his voice was soft and calm, the kind of tone he had when something was bothering him. You really knew him too well. 

“Hi” you whispered, smiling and looking at him, searching for something, anything. 

He frowned and quickly checked the time.

“Wait what the hell what are you doing here at this hour? Are you okay? Did anything happen? What about the kids?”

You looked at him with as much adoration as one human could have for someone and answered.

“Nothing’s wrong Chan they’re fine and I’m fine too.” 

“Then why are you here at 3am?”

“Am I not allowed to miss my boyfriend ?”  
you pouted, hoping it would distract him. 

You knew he wasn’t convinced but he laughed and gave you a light peck. That was enough for you now. 

“What were you doing?”

“Arranging something Changbin gave me but I’m stuck on it and I don’t know how to go around it.” 

“Maybe it’s the world telling you you should probably go home and call it day.” you tried.

He looked at you knowingly with an amused look on his face.

“Babe I know what you’re trying to do.” 

“I’m not trying to do anything!” you defended yourself, but you knew he wouldn’t buy that so you tried something else. 

“Okay okay. How about I take you somewhere so you can clear your head a little?” 

“Y/n, it’s 3am and I’m tired I don’t know what you have in mind but-“

“NO oh my god no” you laughed “I didn’t mean that you pervert” you hit his shoulder playfully which got a soft chuckle out of him. 

“Okay so what DID you have in mind ?” 

You got up and stretched out your hand to him. 

“C‘mon” 

He looked at you, eyes filled with questions but took your hand and followed you. This was another proof as to how exhausted he was because he didn’t usually surrender that quickly. You thought to yourself that a break was exactly what he needed right now and felt content with yourself. 

You both got into the elevator, hands still intertwined. You got closer to Chan, took his arm and rested your head on his broad shoulders. You gave his hand a light squeeze and pressed the last button of the elevator. You felt his wondering gaze on you but didn’t bother explaining. You arrived on the last floor and walked out of the elevator, dragging a confused Bangchan behind you.

"Y/n"

"Shhh don’t say anything, don’t you trust me?" 

"I trust you with my life" 

"Then just follow me, that’s it. We’re almost there anyway"

You walked down the corridor towards the door opening to the stairway.  
You took the steps leading to a place the elevator didn’t have access to, the place you wanted to show your boyfriend. 

You finally arrived to the door and opened it, struggling just a bit because it was pretty heavy.

"Are we even allowed to be here?" you heard Chan ask, careful as ever.

"Probably not. But you know what? I don’t care" you said the last sentence in a loud whisper, turning around to face your boyfriend and show him your smirk. 

He looked a bit surprised for a second but his face quickly turned into a fond smile as he stepped outside with you. 

He looked around him and noticed where you were.

"The rooftop?"

"I know it’s super cliché but i love this place"

"How did you even find it in the first place ?"

"Well when I come here I always have to wait for you guys and sometimes it’s long so let’s just say I had time to look around the building and find this." 

"In my 9 years of being here, I never ventured here how the hell did you..." he didn’t finish his sentence, rather looking at the empty rooftop.

"Well when you asked if we were allowed to be here and I said probably... I meant most definitely not" you said timidly.

"What do you mean?" he was already laughing seeing the guilty look on your face.

"Well... There MIGHT have been some sort of chain with a lock keeping the door closed.." 

"And..?" he waited for you to continue.

"And I might’ve picked up a thing or two about picking locks through Supernatural"

A few seconds passed when you heard a loud laugh coming from Chan.

"What?" you said, laughing just as much. 

He came closer to you, putting his arms around you waist, looking at you with his big loving eyes. 

"You keep on surprising me everyday y/n" 

"What can I say? I’m full of surprises." you teased. He leaned forward and joined your lips for another chaste kiss. 

You detached yourself from him and took him by the hand to go to your spot. 

It was on the very edge of the rooftop, where your feet would dangle in the emptiness beneath you and you would see the whole city, spending hours admiring the view and how it always felt so busy.

You both sat down, Chan a little more careful because of the height. You fell into a comfortable silence, the noises from the city surrounding you. He was pretty silent, a bit more than usual and you were about to say something when you looked at him and saw he had his eyes closed. 

You almost gasped. The moonlight was perfectly hitting every single one of his features, his long eyelashes casting a shadow on his cheeks.  
He looked absolutely breathtaking and you wished you could take a picture with your brain and keep that image forever in your mind. The way he looked so relaxed, so young and fragile. At that moment you thought to yourself: You were so hopelessly in love with him. 

You kept looking at him. You had never seen anyone like him before. It seemed like his face had been sculpted with the utmost care. 

His thick eyebrows emphasizing his soft eyes. His nose he always found too big, but you thought it was perfect, you loved to boop it and kiss it to show him. His mouth, god his mouth. From the side you could see the way his lips were perfectly shaped, the curves looking almost sinful. It took everything in you not to kiss him right here right now. His hair were a mess now, after pulling on them for hours in the studio, but that’s how you liked them best. He had also taken off his makeup. His skin was glowing and you thought about how self conscious he was about his bareface. You hated that. You thought back about that one lazy sunday you spent in bed. 

*flashback* 

Your laughters erupted from outside your apartment and made your belly ache and your eyes water. 

"Stop Chan please stop I can’t breathe I think I’m gonna die" you said, trying to escape from his tickling fingers. They were digging on your sides and making you laugh hysterically. 

"So who’s the weak one now huh?" he was also laughing at how you were moving all over the place, the bedsheets on the floor from how much you were kicking your legs.

"Stop I- I’m gonna- I’m gonna pass out I can’t" 

"Yeah your arms may be big but that doesn’t mean you’re strong" he repeated in a high pitched voice what you had said earlier to tease him. You regretted ever saying that because you couldn’t handle it anymore. 

"Please sto- stop I’m begging"

"Oh you are? Doesn’t sound like begging to me" 

He lightened his hold on you just enough so you could breathe and say a full sentence.

"I give up, yes you’re strong as fuck I get it now please let me go" you said, out of breath and giggling. 

"That’s better" he let go of you and you took this opportunity to reverse the situation and get on top of him. 

"Now you’re just playing with fire young lady" 

You breathed out a laughed and laid on top of him, your chin on your crossed hand you had placed on his chest. 

"That was exhausting" he said, closing his eyes. 

You didn’t answer, too busy to look at every single centimeters of his face. 

He opened one eye and looked down at you, wondering what you were doing. When he noticed you were just staring, he smiled and then put his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes again. 

You brought a hand to his hair, and ran your fingers through it, trying to make them look less disheveled. From there, you let your fingers travel down his forehead, pressing feather light touches on his eyes, then his nose and his lips. They rested on his cheeks a little before caressing the soft skin of his neck. 

You heard him hum in satisfaction which made you smile softly. You pulled yourself up a little a pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. Once again, you let your lips explore every single inches of his face. You put your lips on his eyes delicately and kissed his nose, making him giggle. This brought out his dimples and you didn’t miss one beat and kissed them too. His smile got even wider and when he felt you kiss his cheeks, chin and jawline, he opened his eyes and cupped your cheek with his hand. 

Minutes passed, but they felt like seconds, when you were just looking at each other, the biggest smiles displayed on your faces. 

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?" you teased again. 

You heart skipped a beat when he answered. 

"Because I’m happy, I’m so happy and I feel at peace right now, like I’ve never felt before"

You answered him by joining your lips together. The kiss was soft, not hungry but so loving and gentle, you immediately melted in it. The rest of the day went by in a flash, lost in each other’s embrace. 

*end of flashback* 

You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice he had opened his eyes again. He exhaled a long sigh and finally spoke up. 

"I miss them"

You were taken aback at the sudden confession, but happy that he was finally opening up. 

"Who?"

"Mom, dad, Lucas, Hannah... Hell Berry too"

You heard his wet chuckle and immediately looked at his face. Tears were staining his cheeks even if he still had that stupid gorgeous smile on his face. 

"Babe.." 

"I miss them so goddamn much.. And I never talk about it with the boys because I don’t want to seem ungrateful you know? I get to live off my passion with 7 kids I love like crazy.. But yeah I miss them I haven’t seen them for like a year and it hurts y/n it hurts."

He broke down at that and you took him in your arms, holding him as tight as you could. 

"It hurts because I can’t see my little sister grow up, I missed my little brother’s first day in high school and his swimming competition and I miss my dad’s terrible jokes and my mom’s cooking and the way we would all stuff our faces on holidays and birthdays." 

He was sobbing at this point, and his words came out broken and shaky.  
It was the first time since you met him that you found him so raw and vulnerable. You always had this image of him, so big and responsible and strong. He was so sensitive and still so young. He had a very soft heart and you blamed yourself for underestimating his sensitive side.  
He was human after all, and you knew how deeply he cared about everything. Its just... He was always talking about his family with such a bright smile and glowing eyes. Of course you knew he missed them, but you never thought it’d hurt that bad. 

You had been in Korea for a year now, so you could understand him a little bit. You missed your mom and your little brothers too, a lot, and you thought about how early he left his family. You tried to comfort him, running your hand through his hair the way he liked it, and humming a soft song to get him to calm down. You didn’t want to tell him it was gonna be okay, you hated when people said that. It’s like they wouldn’t let you have your sad moment and asked you to get over it already. So you let him cry, as much as your heart broke hearing his sniffling and feeling his tears wet your shirt, you let him cry. 

Of course, you couldn’t help but cry with him, trying to hide how painful it was for you to see him like that. 

After what felt like hours, you felt his breathing getting more stable and took his head in your hands to look at him.  
He quickly tried to move away.

"Don’t, I look like a mess, I don’t even have makeup on" 

You forced him to look at you. 

"Shut up. You look beautiful. Even more so without any of that stuff on your face." 

You used the sleeve of your sweater to tap ever so softly under his eyes, wiping his tears away. His eyes and nose were red and puffy from all the crying. You pressed another kiss on his swollen lips and put your forehead against his.  
You stayed like that for a while before you looked at the sky and started talking. 

"I woke up with a weird feeling on my chest a couple of hours ago. I couldn’t go back to sleep. So I went to the dorms to see if the boys were okay, then when I found out you and Lix were still here, I stopped by just in case. Weird huh? I guess when we say our souls are connected, they truly are." 

He looked at you with wide eyes, mouth agape. 

"You always try to hide your feelings, as if they would go away. But I know what you try to do. You think that by sharing what’s on your mind, you’re gonna burden the others and you’d rather keep it all to yourself. Well guess what Chan, the people around you? They care and they want the best for you." 

You realized scolding him about that right now was probably not the best way to go. You softened your tone and continued. 

"What I’m trying to say is that I love you, we all do and we understand you can’t always be the fierce hyung with no weaknesses."

You sighed. 

"I’m glad I woke up. I’m glad we’re on this rooftop right now."

Chan still wasn’t answering, it felt like a monologue but you still continued talking, knowing he needed to hear all this.

"You know why I took you here?"

"To clear my head?"

"And so we could look at the sky. Isn’t it beautiful?"

You saw him raise his head and admire the night sky. 

"Whenever I feel sad or burdened, I look outside at night and admire the stars, the way they shine so bright. It feels safe, knowing you’re surrounded by thousands upon thousands of shiny lights. It’s comforting, like a safe place.  
And when I miss my mom, I look at the moon. I look at the moon and I think about how, in a few hours, she’ll be looking at that exact same moon. It makes me feel closer to her in some way.  
I don’t know what time it is in Australia right now, but I know your family is thinking about you, wondering if you ate well or had enough sleep. Most importantly, I’m sure they’re proud of you."

You heard him mumble and even though you couldn’t catch it properly, you guessed it wasn’t something positive. 

"Remember that video of you playing the guitar and singing "I’m yours" in front of you tv? You were what like 10? And here you are now, on the rooftop of one of the most successful companies of South Korea. When I saw that video months ago, I felt so fucking proud of you, this feeling just completely overwhelming me. So, if I can feel that, imagine what it would be like for your parents." 

"But I’m not the best son. I don’t call that often, I can’t visit every couple of months, I miss so many things, so many important moments.” 

“Babe they’re still so young, they have so many more things to accomplish in life. And you’re not gonna be this busy all your life right? One day, you’ll retire from the idol life and lead a calm and peaceful one, maybe here or maybe in Australia with them. And you’ll be here for the rest of those important moments. Lucas’ graduation, Hannah’s first pregnancy, their weddings, there’s still so much time left." 

"Will you be with me for those moments?"

That caught you off guard, you were talking about stuff that would happen 10 or 15 years from now, and to think he even considered still having you in his life after so long made you want to cry.

"I told you I’ll be here as long as you’ll have me. I’m not letting go that easily." 

You both laughed and looked at the sky again. 

"It’s so beautiful" you heard him whisper. 

"It really is." 

"I get why you’d consider this your safe place, it puts everything back into perspective”

“Exactly, makes you realize that in the end, we always figure out a way to make it work." 

He was about to say something but you beat him to it, already knowing what was on the tip of his tongue. 

"Don’t even think about it Bang Christopher Chan you are NOT apologizing.”

“How did you-"

“I know you too well I guess. And no you weren’t burdening me with your problems. I’m happy you shared that with me, proves that you trust me."

“I do trust you."

"I know you do, but you being vulnerable like that... I don’t know I like to know you feel comfortable enough to lean on me, after all those months you finally do. And I’m not blaming you for not doing it earlier but I’m just glad you do.” 

You both laid down on the concrete to see the stars better, arguing on which star looked the brightest and which one seemed the furthest from earth.  
You raised your hand to trace what you thought was a constellation but he quickly corrected you by taking your hand in his.  
You stayed there, gazing up at the sky, talking about everything and nothing, mostly your families and ended up cuddling on the hard floor, faces only inches apart.

"I love you y/n, so damn much. Thank you for taking me here, it really helped."

“I’m glad it did." you said softly.

"I still can’t believe you felt that something was wrong. You might actually be the love of my life." he said, sweet smile on his lips. 

"I’ve known you were mine for a long time now." 

You were both looking at each other like your life depended on it, forgetting the stars in the sky and focusing on the galaxy you found in his eyes. 

The sky looked beautiful that night, but no amount of stars could compare to the beauty of the world you had in front of you, your whole world.


End file.
